A.H.P. – 56
breakfast was nice. you’re nice. It feels nice to be with you. I told you that I was in strange place but how can I really explain that to you? See, I promised my heart, myself, my life, my future to someone else and then it all broke. In front of me. So quickly.
I tried so hard, worked harder and pushed myself more than I ever had. And it didn’t work. And here I am surrounded by broken things. Surrounded by things I tried to fix but couldn’t. I don’t know what bothers me more, the fact that I tried so hard or the fact that it wasn’t the right person – or the right relationship.
But then I start wondering about what the right person is and can it really be anyone as long as we work hard enough? And if that’s so, how do I feel about quitting? It’s jading. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted of expectations. of pain. of fighting. of being responsible for someone else’s feelings.
How do you love someone else? And If I told you I loved you, how could you believe me? and why should I believe you? and if we get sick of each other, what then? who am I? And what does love do to us? What does it do to me? to you?
I like a day with you. I like a night with you. I like how you kiss. I like how you touch me. I like how adventurous you are. I like your friends. I like how you look at the world. I like cooking with you. I like falling asleep with you and waking up with you.
It would be easy to say I love you. But would that really change anything?