The Anonymous Heartache Project

An Experimental Transmedia Documentary

A.H.P.-14

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A.H.P. – 14:

Another lonely night.  It follows another lonely day.  Fresh snow on the ground.  Nobody can seem to contain their thrill.  All these things just remind me of failure. Maybe they shouldn’t.  It’s my own fault really.  I had been searching for love between the sheets of a different girl every week, and shockingly it wasn’t working.  I just felt cheep and empty.  And I knew I wasn’t doing anything good. But for that week, I would convince myself that I had found it, that elusive mistress, that hug that doesn’t end.  Good ‘ol love.  What a bitch.

But then I meet a girl.  And she met me.  And for once it seem like shit ain’t so bad.  But ya know we got lives, well she does at least.  So I’m left to my lonesome self.  Solution?  Jameson. She has always been there for me. Drinking until I can’t feel, then hit the bottle a little harder.  That’s how Jamie plays the game.  At first she is a little harsh, but as you have a little more, she softens up, until she is nothing but smooth.  Then she makes you feel numb, and wonderful.  Like nothing can touch you.  How a good woman should make you feel. Indestructible and protected. How she makes me feel when I’m with her.  But fuck man, it is to soon to feel that way, I think.  But then again, who makes the rules?  I just don’t want to get fucked over by another woman.  That’s why Jameson is always within reach.  She never leads me astray. What I see is what I get with her, and her job is the make me tingle.

I am a chronic jump-iner.  I don’t want to be, logically, but I have to fight it when I’m smitten.  I definitely jumped this time.  But it happened I suppose.  For better or for worse.  That’s how women are, they got that magic.  Most of them you can resist, but every now and again, you meet one that just gets a hold on you.  And when that happen, boy-I-tell-you-what, not a lot you can do about it.  You can accept it and enjoy the ride, or you can run from it, but she’ll get ya in the end. You can drink yourself stupid, but this only works to break the magic half the time, the rest of the time she just proves to you how strong she is.  I prefer to just let them have their way with me.  I get a good ride, someone to give a shit about me and make me feel special for a week or two, and hell who doesn’t want that?

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